My article in May 2018 issue of Vejzde youth magazine of Sevnica.
In the past 5 years I’ve been spending my time thinking about how to make the most out of my life. Let’s face it, it’s not always easy. Especially for a person who tends to feel miserable sometimes without any particular reason. Some days are only for trying to stay on the surface of the ocean of insecurity and puzzlement. But the next day is always about starting over. It’s true what they say: you, me, everyone sits on a neverending rollercoaster of emotions – one day you are down, the next day you are up. One more reason to always wait for the fucking tomorrow! As an experienced rollercoaster rider, I’ve developed some strategies to not to throw up everytime when the track rises or drops boldly.
I let myself to be afraid. Or to be sad. Or as I mentioned above, feel miserable. The strategies that say that you always have to be grateful and happy and forget immediately everything that bothers or hurts you, these strategies are simply lies. I think it is essential to live your moments. To stand for your emotions, to be able to show them regardless of their nature. I am not afraid to freak out, to cry, to be unfriendly, or just to not care. It can be controversial, but I can’t do it otherwise, since I am genetically uncapable to push my feelings down. So, if you feel like shit, you have to know it’s ok to feel like shit. Or sad. Or beaten. Take your time to miss someone who you shouldn’t. Take your time to talk about things that you weren’t supposed to. Take your time to question yourself. This way you will release sooner from all and then you can focus on the upcoming rising section of the rollercoaster.
I let myself to make mistakes. Maybe even big ones. They say, only the one who doesn’t work, doesn’t make mistakes. When you make a mistake, one thing you can know for sure. You are processing. Something is changing, going on. Maybe totally to the wrong direction, but you are moving. And maybe the worst thing that can happen in life is the stop of changes. Stop of moving, processing, forming. In nature it is like this. And since we are parts of nature, it must be true for our funcioning too. Ne?
I let myself to fantasize. I am a total dreamer. Since I was a kid, I can’t stop fantasizing. I fabricate and play different scenarios in my mind in each situations I face with. I could get along with this for quite long – and still. Actually, this is also a very useful startegy to be able to react. You basically live the triple of your life while experimenting with your fictional situations and reactions. I feel it makes me more ready to act when the time comes to really act in each aspects.
I let myself to celebrate. Every overlived downpoints, every well-earned hights along the track. Every small success that maybe seem to be not worthy to celebrate. I try to take a minute to shake my hand for it anyway. For example getting back on track when the last day I felt miserable, it is a small success – worth for smile.
I don’t consider myself a world champion rollercoaster rider. Although, I try to find my way to go to Disneyland bravely without feeling shocked by the 50 meters high Indiana Jones themed rollercoaster which goes through a waterfall and has the real massive ups and downs. I even can smile when the inbuilt cameras are taking shots at the worst moments during the ride.